The Daily Stoic - January 24 - Deep Understanding

Do not settle for basic understanding. Get a deep understanding of the topic at hand. Do not take anything at face value. Always do the work and delve deeper.

The journal question:

Am I doing deep work?

As superficial as it sounds, I find am always doing work particularly at work. With my job, it is not enough to have a basic understanding. I have to be able to explain methods to people (the public) and dumb down complicated methods into an easy understandable way. 

Outside of work, there are occasions when a topic piques my interest enough that I will go through an obsessive phase with it. Once I understand it and/or get bored with it, I move on. Most of the time, I take those lessons with me and others not so much.

The Daily Stoic - January 23 - Money

Money does not make problems disappear the way people believe it will. "External things cannot fix internal things."

The journal question:

Which of my possessions own me?

Books (and the cat, but she's not a possession). 

The Daily Stoic - January 22 - Review

This is another encouragement to journal daily. This time we are asked to reflect on the previous day's events (or it could be that day's events if you are journaling before bed). Journal your reactions to events throughout the day. What things could be improved upon? What went well? This is a personal assessment, so you need to be brutally honest with yourself. How else would you make changes if you cannot acknowledge the issues? 

The journal question:

What bad habit did I curb today?

Actually, this is a timely question. I have an underlying medical condition that has forced me to eat little food and careful with what I am able to eat. I cannot eat full portions of food in one sitting anymore. I tested positive for COVID mid-November; it was a mild case. One of my symptoms was a lack of appetite. My already small portions of food became non-existent. Knowing I needed to eat something, I forced myself to eat every now and again, but I still as not eating anywhere near enough. When I tried eating, I was full after two bites with some foods, so I was looking for anything at all that my body would let me keep eating more than two bites of. Unfortunately, this meant reverting back to old eating habits (lots of sugary items, junk food, etc.). Last night before bed and when I got up today, I told myself I was going to get back on track on with my specialized diet. Two months after COVID and I am only now feeling as if I am back to normal with the underlying medical condition, so getting back on track is more important than ever.

The Daily Stoic - January 21 - Journaling

This meditation encourages a morning ritual of journaling, but really it can be done any time. The idea is to carve out the time to be quiet and alone for yourself. The list of questions was offered by Epictetus's writings:

What am I lacking in attaining freedom from passion?

What for tranquility?

 What am I? A mere body, estate-holder, or reputation? None of these things.

What, then? A rational being.

What then is demanded of me? Meditate on your actions.

How did I steer away from serenity?

What did I do that was unfriendly, unsocial, or uncaring?

What did I fail to do in all these things?

The authors encourage us to journal these questions each day, but we are not limited to this list. Again, the idea is quiet, alone time for ourselves.

The journal question:

What am I getting out of my journaling ritual?

So far, my journaling ritual has been about 3 weeks (when I started The Daily Stoic). I am starting to see these principles everywhere. I even start thinking about these things during the day as the work day progresses. I find it's bringing me some peace. I typically do these reflections at night before bed followed by a guided meditation (or ASMR) from YouTube. I am sleeping better.

The Daily Stoic - January 20 - Reignition

This meditation reminds us that we can reignite our thoughts whenever we want. Nothing needs to precipitate this ability to get back onto your path.

The journal question: 

How can I rekindle my principles and start living today?

Rekindle? I am only just starting!

The Daily Stoic - January 19 - Choices

A side note before I get into today's meditation: 

I'm 2.5 weeks into working through the Daily Stoic, and I am now finding philosophy everywhere. I heard (yes, heard; I did not watch) a commercial for a TV show and the line was something to the effect of, "I treat my guys fairly, but not equally."

My immediate thought was "How can that occur? Fair but not equal." My thoughts then turned to whether fairness was equal to equality. My head is randomly going to places they would not necessarily have gone to before I started The Daily Stoic. I see some of the meditations all the time. In fact, tonight I had to sit through a healthy eating presentation on Zoom, and one of the lines on one of the slides was "Knowledge is power." I will never read or hear this line the same way ever again. I digress. On to today's meditation.

Today's meditation tells us that no matter where we are in life, whether it is good or bad, we will always have our freedom of choice.

The journal question:

Good or bad, high or low, do I still have choices?

Yes. When times are tough, we have the ability to make changes for the better. We need the courage to see them through. When times are great, we have the ability to make choices that will see us through any challenges and keep times great.

The Daily Stoic - January 18 - Seeing the World Differently

See the world in ways that others do not is the message for today. It is about finding the beauty in the ordinary. In my mind, this could also be those moments of awe we have sometimes. For example, we might see a spectacular sunset, but everyone else is too busy to pay attention.

The journal question:

Can I find grace and harmony in places others overlook?

I remember being at my grandparents' house when I was a kind. I was sitting in their sun room watching the birds and other wild life go about their business. I had a sudden realization that we are such a small part of a larger world. People's lives are so busy that they forget to stop and watch nature at its best.

The Daily Stoic - January 17 - Work for It

Today's meditation is reminding us that we cannot be afraid to try something because we are afraid of failure. Everything in life takes work, and we cannot be afraid or lazy.

The journal question:

Am I doing work that matters?

In my professional life, yes. In my personal life, no. As mentioned in yesterday's post, relationships are extremely complicated for people like me. I have monumental hurdles to get over. I do not even know where I would begin with that.

The Daily Stoic - January 16 - Habits

The meditation today is about not doing things out of habit. The example they gave us was about a worker telling a boss that they are doing something because that's the way it is always done. I am not going to lie; I have actually said something similar to this to someone when I first started my job.

Prior to that conversation, I had already started trying to get my office in compliance with specific laws, rules, and regulations, but this time, it was all I could say. Not to make excuses, but my boss at the time had an anxiety issue and our office was very busy. I have since corrected the issue that was discussed in that conversation.

Once I was promoted, I started looking for ways to make the office more efficient. 

The journal question:

What assumptions have I left unquestioned?

This is a tough one because doing things out of habit then becomes "autopilot" as I like to call it. We follow a routine and most often forget that we even did something. My home routines are because I am done for the day and not going out again. Asking myself if this is the best way to do things is not really applicable here. I am not sure what habits I can fix.

The Daily Stoic - January 15 - "Peace is in Staying the Course"

My first thought when reading the title of today's meditation was the movie The Patriot (the one with Mel Gibson). I used the actual title in the title line of my post today. The mediation tries to encourage us to not question ourselves and have an internal battle with ourselves based on outside influences such as the opinions of other people. It should not be a comparison between our own selves and everyone else. I find this meditation rather intriguing due of the nature of my personality. Quite honestly, it hits a very particular (read touchy) spot in my mind and soul. 

My Meyers-Brigg Personality Index is INTJ. I learned my personality index when I was in high school through an online test, but I never appreciated the results or what they were trying to tell me because I did not have life experience. In high school I took the test at least 4 times. I always teetered between INTJ and INFJ. As an adult, I went back and took a different online test and it seems I am more of an INTJ now than I was in high school. (My introvert score went from 89/100 to 100/100, for example.)

Those of us who have the misfortune of being an INTJ know all too well that we internalize absolutely everything. Every life decision, every moment, is an internal battle in our own minds. We frequently blame ourselves when the outcome is not favorable.

I went through my high school years wondering why I was not like my classmates. They were always hanging out, having fun. My internal battle back then: What is wrong with me?

In the years following, my classmates were all getting married, having kids. Family. My dating years were short lived; they started post-high school and did not last beyond my mid-20’s. Being in relationships was extremely stressful. I got to a point where I decided that relationships were an unnecessary complication in (my) life. My internal battles since then: What is wrong with me? Why do relationships have to feel like unnecessary complications? Why don’t I want kids? Why can’t I be normal like everyone else? Why am I broken? Can I be fixed?

Yes, there are INTJs in successful relationships, but we all vary in our personality breakdowns. There are multiple types of introverts just to start. In my case, I am far too independent and do not possess the capability to make someone feel needed; I do not allow myself to be dependent on anyone other than myself for anything. I do not like feeling that I owe someone for something. I also find people to be needy when they are looking for attention. There was an instance where I know it was not me, but in other instances, I am pretty sure the feeling of trying to hold someone’s hand through life (when they were just looking for attention) was on me. I know this all sounds selfish and conceited, but to an INTJ, these are sources of severe anxiety and stress. Social interactions, even through work, can be tiresome and painful. We mostly gravitate towards solitude to recuperate from the day. When COVID lock downs were in place, the collective sigh of relief was from all the introverts who prefer to be home and only leave the house for necessary reasons (work, groceries, etc).

In seventh grade, we had to read an abridged version of Flowers for Algernon and the story has been haunting me ever since. It was the first and only time I was ever excited to read an assigned reading. (The full version is on my TBR.) When I got home, I was so very excited to tell my parents about it as reading and reading comprehension was never a strong suit during my scholastic career. They told me there was also a movie called Charly, which I somehow got my hands on and watched. As an eleven- or twelve-year-old reading the story, my take away was ignorance is bliss, but I knew that this was over simplified. As life experiences piled on, I came to understand that the character Charlie had gotten a taste of “normal” and possessed the knowledge that he was going to lose that. (As an adult, I know the story has more meanings and goes far deeper than all of this.)

Every now and then I still compare myself to “normal” people just as Charlie did during his decline. The worst part is knowing that there is something better out there, having a small taste of it, and not being able to keep it. It feels like a failure in life.

The website I used to take my most recent test went as far as trying to tell us that we are NOT broken and that we ARE normal. My immediate reaction? The results/breakdown of the personality analysis was not written by someone that is an INTJ. I still struggle to find how I am not broken (veering from the course) and how I am normal (still veering from the course).

As an INTJ, steering my own course can be extremely difficult. I can tell you from experience that the desire to be “normal” can be powerful. It has clouded my judgment at times and has put me in situations I quickly regret. Then I spend hours asking why I just did this to myself and feeling stupid (thus ending my dating/family ambitions).

Today’s meditation presented quite the challenge for people like me. We spent our entire lives comparing ourselves to others and worrying about what they think of us. How does the habit break?

Incidentally, this is also the start of a new week in the journal. The week’s reflection is not so much a meditation, but a friendly reminder that reflecting on certain questions in the morning is a way to get prepared for the day. Reflecting on the same questions again in the evening is a good way to wind down. Some of the examples posed were based on the last two weeks’ reflections.

The journal question:

Am I staying on course or being steered away?

Both. For the most part, I am staying my own course. There are moments when I think too hard on normalcy and what that means. While the feelings eventually pass; it can be brutal. Brokenness. Loneliness. Feeling inadequate for anyone other than ourselves. Brutal, indeed. At times the feelings and desire to be normal can overtake my course. It can be challenging to get back on course, but eventually I do.

The Daily Stoic - January 14 - Strings

This meditation is about resisting the urge and temptation of distractions (phone, apps, media, etc.) that pull us away from the things that matter (family, friends, our own well being). These distractions put us on strings. We need to to cut the strings by remembering to make time for the more important things in life. It's short enough, do not waste it.

The journal question:

What jerks me around? 

For context, this is referring to being a pawn or puppet of these distractions. In my case, it would be computer games and just being online in general.

 

 

The Daily Stoic - January 13 - Control

Today's meditation serves as a reminder that the only thing we can control is our mind. We need to stop minding everyone and everything else as they are beyond our control.

The journal question:

What can I put outside my control?

I started putting the "It's beyond my control." mantra in practice at work a week ago. I am trying to put a lot of work stress behind me even while I am at work actively involved.

The Daily Stoic - January 12 - Serenity

I am going to do a double post today. I missed the daily Stoic yesterday due to a migraine, so I will post yesterday's meditation first.

The message in this meditation is to remind ourselves throughout the day what is and is not within our control. Once of the points made is letting yourself surrender to sleep when it comes. This is something I struggle with. There have been times within the last year that I have had to force myself to stop forcing myself to keep my eyes open.

The journal question for this meditation is:

Where is the path to serenity?

This is tough to answer because it could be taken in several ways. To me, I find serenity in ASMR videos. I like to stream it while I am in bed trying to get myself to sleep. Any yes, it does help. Some videos are guided meditations. I find that they help bringing calm to an otherwise stressed out brain.

The Daily Stoic - January 11 - (Un)Steady Yourself

After a week of working through The Daily Stoic, I found it somewhat difficult to reflect on some of the meditations. I found myself buying The Daily Stoic Journal last week and it was delivered today. I am going to work through both books at the same time. The journal provides a weekly reflection as well as daily reflections. I will begin the weekly reflection on January 15.

 After reading today's meditation, yesterday's message makes more sense. Yesterday's message was:

[S]erenity and stability are results of your choices and judgment, not your environment. 

Today's message is that if you try to run and hide from your problems, you will unsteady yourself and your life. You need to avoid the negative judgments associated with those problems to remain steady.

The question from The Daily Stoic Journal is:

What are sources of unsteadiness in your life?

What an appropriate question for the times. The list could be endless with the craziness of the world today. Just to name a few: work (multiple situations at the same time over a long stretch), a situation at home (which has been resolved), COVID, health issues. These are just a few of the things causing obstacles in my life. 

I typically spend a lot of time reading as an escape or just to wind down and relax. Once COVID came in 2020, I was not reading nearly as much as I usually do. Even now, I am still no where near what I was doing pre-COVID. This is a source of stress for me. I feel somewhat lost and guilty for not reading, but when I do read, I also feel guilty for reading. I cannot pinpoint why I feel guilty, but I do. It has been another source of unsteadiness. Now that other sources of stress (work, etc) are starting to level out and get back on track, I feel like I can read again. I feel the weights starting to lift off every time I make a little progress.

As a final note, I have to say, for those who are going to try out The Daily Stoic, have the journal along with it. It makes the daily reflections easier and far less stressful. Yes, trying to reflect on some of the meditation enigmas was a source of stress. Already today, it has helped a great deal.

The Daily Stoic - January 10 - Steady Yourself

Today's meditation is about using our proper judgment to filter out the chaos in the world to help us stay steady. I guess the question to reflect on would be "What is proper judgment?"

Reason and "proper" judgment are different for everybody.

The Daily Stoic - January 9 - Control

Today's meditation challenges us to remember that the only control we have is ourselves. We cannot reach out and control everything outside our own being. We can control what we think about things such as our own opinion about a particular topic or event, but we cannot control the outside influences affecting those events such as another person's reaction or direct influence in the event.

The Daily Stoic - January 8 - Addictions

To paraphrase today's meditation, addiction is the lack of freedom (or the inability) to abstain. In the past my addictions were certain foods. For medical reasons, I had to stop indulging in them as frequently as I was. 

At my worst, I was drinking two cans of coke a day; three if it was a Friday and I had a tough week at work. As of the writing of this post, I have not had a sip of soda in over seven months. Another one of my indulgences was chocolate milk. Around the holidays in 2021, I treated myself to some after months of drinking plain 1% milk (with my nutritionist's blessing after the fact). Moderation is the key.

At this moment in time, my physical health is dominating my life as I have neglected to improve the quality of my life for so long. It requires a lot work to make up for the years of indifference and just living with my issues. Due to the aforementioned medical reasons, I have lost 33 pounds since July 2020 and I am only two pounds away from being in the high-normal range for my age and height. 

In a previous post, I wrote about having a goal to avoid becoming directionless. The goal I am currently focusing on is getting my weight to normal range by my next appointment with my primary care provider in July 2022. With today's meditation, I also have to be mindful to not turn it into an obsession and/or addiction down the road even if I meet my goal.

The Daily Stoic - January 7 - Seven Functions of the Mind

Today's meditation is a reminder of what our mind functions should do. 

 

Choice - to do and think right

Refusal - of temptation

Yearning - to be better

Repulsion - of negativity, of bad influences, of what isn't true

Preparation - for what lies ahead or whatever may happen

Purpose - our guiding principle and highest priority

Assent - to be free of deception about what's inside and outside our control (and be ready to accept the latter)

Being able to ignore everything else is a big step in keeping a clear mind.

The Daily Stoic - January 6 - The Four Ws

Today's meditation challenges us to explore the who, what, when, and where of our inner selves. The emphasis on the "Who are you?" question. This is not meant to be in the "Introduce yourself." kind of way. The authors challenge us with not what your answer would be to the questions, but rather, whether you could answer the question. 

In all honesty, I do not think I could give an answer yet. This will be something to reflect on through the year.

The Daily Stoic - January 5 - Finding Direction

Today's meditation is about always having a direction. When I first read today's meditation, my first reaction was having a everything planned ahead of time seems contrary to the principles of Stoicism. I mean, always planning for everything is not necessarily living the life we want to if we learn a certain path is not for us. 

After re-reading the meditation, I realized that was not the message. The message was to have a goal. Period. Having a goal keeps us moving towards something. That does not mean our goal(s) cannot change. Having a goal and working towards something gives a direction or starting point. Working towards our goal gives us the opportunity to gain knowledge, action on that knowledge, and accept that not everything is within our control. There is never a need to feel lost or without direction.